How I Was Schooled by the Door-to-Door Evangelists

God speaks.

Often, God speaks through someone to whom you do not wish to listen.

Today, God spoke to me with a clear reminder:
It is never enough to live for myself.  My everyday choices have a direct and future impact on my relationship with God and the lives of others. My actions will absolutely come to bear on whether I will one day be joyfully fulfilled, or empty and alone.

About a year ago, Aaron and I felt convicted that we should start living more simply. We are constantly aware that we have been abundantly blessed. Sure, we work for what we have, but this does not mean it belongs to us. Without regard to any real merit, God has filled our lives with good things.This being the case, it became increasingly difficult to justify our indulgent lifestyle. After spending the first few years of our marriage going on awesome dates and doing ridiculous amount of shopping, we realized that these mind-numbing activities had gained very little for ourselves or anyone else. Who did we think we were, living this way when there were many left with so little? We were being snobby and spoiled. We do not need clothes overflowing our drawers, 20 pairs of shoes, a big screen television or two brand new cars.So, we committed to give more, and take less.

Unfortunately, the commitment to live beyond the direction of my own whims sometimes proves difficult. This morning, as I was fumbling through the usual tasks (dishes, laundry, eating cookies, etc.), I found myself in an terrible mood. When God calls a person (ie- THIS GIRL) to be less self-centered, living in NOVA has a special way of making the choice difficult. This is the land where jobs are still available, money might as well grow on trees, and everyone seems constantly to be competing. People tend to believe things go sort of like this:
More money/stuff = more important person.
The NOVA richies have a lot of money with which to flaunt their "importance." Sometimes, I struggle not to get sucked into the competition. I want to wave my arms and yell, "Hey! I'm important too!" I guess no one likes to be reminded that they are not the center of the universe. Sometimes I do not see how the choice to live simply is helping anyone. Some days, in my weakness, living simply is just annoying. I feel like my small efforts do little good and are basically pointless. Thus, the bad mood and extra cookie consumption.

So, I had just finished my shower, and was busy throwing a little pity party for myself.
God, really? This isn't doing much anyways. Why can't I just act like a regular NOVA person?
Pout pout pout.
I was about to put Jack down for a nap when there was a knock on the door.
I was not planning to answer. Then, I realized that  I did not remember if the door was locked and I was worried the knocker might be the creepy "Clean Water" peddler from a few weeks ago, returned to break in and steal my faucets or something. So I went downstairs and peeked out the blinds.

Time for the truth: I have never enjoyed encounters with door-to-door evangelists. Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses - it makes no difference. It all means the same thing: I now have to take time out of my day to stand on my porch and have an awkward conversation with people I do not know. At best, this has always annoyed me:
Please don't preach to me. I'm a Christian. I'm familiar with the Bible and I go to church. If your views match up with mine, you're preaching to the choir. If they don't, you aren't likely to change my mind by asking me to stand on my door step while my dog is barking and my child needs to be put down for a nap.
At worst, the encounters peak my anxiety and sort of terrify me. Often, I stand just behind the door, heart pounding, cheeks flushed, hoping that whoever is on the other side will not convince me to open the door. 

Standing there in the cold drizzle were two older women. I paused.

I bet they'll go away in a minute.

They did not go away. They knocked again.

Ok. I'll open the door. Maybe someone lost their cat.

I opened the door.

"Hello!" one woman said. "We're visiting people in the neighborhood because we feel that people have very little hope."

NO! You were supposed to be a cat lady with flyers and a distressed face! WHY did I open the door?

"The world has a lot of heartache, and corruption seems to be everywhere. Do you think that the world will always be this way?"

Oh jeez, God. You're going to educate me through an uncomfortable front porch discussion?
*Mentally stomps foot*

"No, I don't believe the world will be corrupt forever."

"That's great! You're exactly correct! Do you know why?"

*Quick glance at the book she is holding.*
Sweet. A Bible. I can pass this test.
"I believe that Christ will return, and he will bring an end to corruption, sorrow, pain and injustice." Whoa. Speaking that out loud was actually a little jolt of espresso for my soul. Hmm.

"That is wonderful to hear. Your thinking is exactly in line with the Bible!"

Yeah I realize that. I'm pretty familiar with the Bible. Grumble grumble.
 *Mentally kicks the air.*

"I just wanted to show you this verse."
As one woman distracted Jack long enough for me to listen, the other woman opened her Bible to Psalm 37:11-13, and read aloud to me,

"But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace. The wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes his teeth at him, But the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming."

Her voice was sweet and soothing, like my grandmother's voice. In spite of my best efforts to hold God at arms length, He was speaking. Through a stranger on my front porch, He was encouraging me. In place of my bad mood, I immediately felt happy and at peace. The words reminded me that my day-to-day lifestyle does matter. There absolutely will be an end to the way things are now, and when that end comes, it will matter that I have lived for God and His people instead of for my own selfish whims.

The women themselves were also a testament to the selflessness I should more purposefully emulate. Here I was, pitying myself because God refuses to turn a blind eye to my selfishness. But I had peddled around the house all morning doing nothing important. These women should have been inside by a fire, drinking tea and taking some extra vitamins to ward off the fall spurt of colds. Instead, they were bundled up, walking an unfamiliar neighborhood to smilingly encourage people they had never met. They were not deterred by the weather or by my barking dog. Their act of service left me newly humbled.

"Thank you so much for letting us share some encouragement with you. Before we go, is there anything we could leave you with?"

"No," I said. "Thank you so much for sharing with the folks in our neighborhood. This was exactly what I needed to hear this morning."

They smiled and moved on to the next house, and I returned to the task of putting Jack down for his nap.

I'm overwhelmed that God would speak so pointedly to me, precisely when I needed it. I am reminded again today not only that there is no room for selfishness in my life, but that God speaks. Often. If my discomfort with strangers had prevented me from opening the door, I would not have received His encouragement.

The whole experience reminds me of Proverbs 3:27. Here it is:

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."

Since every human being is a creation of the same God, I'm pretty positive God intends for us show good to everyone.  Do not withhold good, ever. In the case of the girl who is not so sure she wants to go on living simply - do not keep for yourself what you do not need when the needs of others are many. I have been totally schooled by the door-to-door evangelists that were supposed to be cat ladies. I want to be more like them.

-Meg

Happy 5 Month Birthday, Jack!

So, I know he can't actually read my blog posts. I wrote him something a few months ago and figured I would post it here anyway. I will read it to him, for good measure.

Afternoon sunlight hits his peaceful face
seems to brighten his already curious eyes
corner of his mouth smirking into the
most fantastic grin.

I stop caring
that I feel like I've accomplished
nothing today.

Moving and babbling
one fist in his mouth
he moves to offer me the other - like he
knows how to share
at only three months.

And again
today
here
I feel God's overwhelming love 
see him move in my baby's movements
hear him speak
no -sing
in Jackson's happy chatter
feel him dance in the joy and
fulfillment that surrounds us.

His warm embrace, undeniable
ever present
never changing
reassuring
a promise
daily fulfilled.

Happy Five Months, Baby Jack! I love you!

Things Learned From My Son

 Fall is here.

This time last year, my pregnant belly was just starting to bust out of my skinny jeans:

 

  

the evidence.

I spent most of my time working as a nurse on the Labor & Delivery unit at George Washington University Hospital, going on dates with my husband, sleeping whenever I wanted, and drinking lattes with "extra extra whipped cream." Life was predictable, easy to plan, and absent of any responsibility outside of work.

And then, a few months and 20ish pounds later, Jack showed up:

best thing ever

Jack is five months old today, and honestly, every week of our life since we became a family has been the opposite of structured. It is messy, exhausting, and impossible to plan. It is also completely wonderful. I had no concept of how much God could teach me through one tiny little person in just a matter of months. Here are a few things I am learning:

1.) I am more selfish than I realize:
I was previously unaware of the premium I placed on having freedom to do things my way, in my time. And then, well, have you ever tried to put an infant on a schedule you have carefully crafted to suit all of your family's needs? The parenting books suggest that this is totally achievable if you are a good enough parent. I am positive these books are written by a villain expressly purposing to torment new mums and dads. I attempted to regiment Jack's life, and felt like a failure when *shock* it did not work. Jack is an individual whose problems and preferences deserve constant consideration. He has his own routine in mind, and it just so happens to be fairly sensible and orderly. When the order occasionally breaks down, that is all right. I do not mind putting him back to bed for the third time in one evening, or doubling the amount of time I spend carrying him in a day. Just like any other human being, his needs vary. To understand and work well with Jack, I have to be willing constantly to view everything from his perspective. The unexpected consequence of my growing sensitivity to Jack has been increased empathy toward others. My five month old son is teaching me to dig deeper to show kindness and love to the people around me.

2.) Everything is an adventure:
Life is full of intriguing and delightful experiences that I miss out on when I spend my whole day on Pinterest, Hulu and Facebook. My son is interested in everything. He is equally content to play with his toys or a discarded tee-shirt still lying on the floor from yesterday's workout.   Everything fascinates him, and he misses nothing. In this way, I feel like he is modelling the manner in which everyone was intended to experience and enjoy the world: eyes wide open, knowing that the next adventure is right in front of you. I have not gone to a movie or taken an exciting weekend getaway since Jack was born, and I have realized that it matters very little. Checking out the fall colors while Jack and I walk through our neighborhood is an adventure in itself. Truly, all thing are new, every single day. This is the case whether or not you are an infant. With Jack by my side, I am learning to be less distracted by things in the periphery. We enjoy each sweet experience for the beauty it contains. God filled the whole world with wonder. Leaving the neighborhood is not a prerequisite to finding it.

3.) Doing something truly beautiful is rarely a neat and tidy affair:
 By welcoming an infant into our family, my husband and I certainly chose to live a more chaotic life. Our days do not go as planned, our house does not always have sparkling floors, and there are weeks when I have opted never to get out of my pajamas before 3PM. What I have realized is that it is acceptable for everything else to take a back seat to growing with the people I love. Sure, maybe there is dog hair on my floor. When Jack grows up, though, I know that he will be certain that his mother loves him with every ounce of her being. I can not think of a more beautiful labor, or better use of my time. I will certainly always choose the messy joyride of loving my family over structure and clean floors.  Also, I love the excuse to stay in my pajamas.

Happy Fall!

-meg