Things Learned From My Son

 Fall is here.

This time last year, my pregnant belly was just starting to bust out of my skinny jeans:

 

  

the evidence.

I spent most of my time working as a nurse on the Labor & Delivery unit at George Washington University Hospital, going on dates with my husband, sleeping whenever I wanted, and drinking lattes with "extra extra whipped cream." Life was predictable, easy to plan, and absent of any responsibility outside of work.

And then, a few months and 20ish pounds later, Jack showed up:

best thing ever

Jack is five months old today, and honestly, every week of our life since we became a family has been the opposite of structured. It is messy, exhausting, and impossible to plan. It is also completely wonderful. I had no concept of how much God could teach me through one tiny little person in just a matter of months. Here are a few things I am learning:

1.) I am more selfish than I realize:
I was previously unaware of the premium I placed on having freedom to do things my way, in my time. And then, well, have you ever tried to put an infant on a schedule you have carefully crafted to suit all of your family's needs? The parenting books suggest that this is totally achievable if you are a good enough parent. I am positive these books are written by a villain expressly purposing to torment new mums and dads. I attempted to regiment Jack's life, and felt like a failure when *shock* it did not work. Jack is an individual whose problems and preferences deserve constant consideration. He has his own routine in mind, and it just so happens to be fairly sensible and orderly. When the order occasionally breaks down, that is all right. I do not mind putting him back to bed for the third time in one evening, or doubling the amount of time I spend carrying him in a day. Just like any other human being, his needs vary. To understand and work well with Jack, I have to be willing constantly to view everything from his perspective. The unexpected consequence of my growing sensitivity to Jack has been increased empathy toward others. My five month old son is teaching me to dig deeper to show kindness and love to the people around me.

2.) Everything is an adventure:
Life is full of intriguing and delightful experiences that I miss out on when I spend my whole day on Pinterest, Hulu and Facebook. My son is interested in everything. He is equally content to play with his toys or a discarded tee-shirt still lying on the floor from yesterday's workout.   Everything fascinates him, and he misses nothing. In this way, I feel like he is modelling the manner in which everyone was intended to experience and enjoy the world: eyes wide open, knowing that the next adventure is right in front of you. I have not gone to a movie or taken an exciting weekend getaway since Jack was born, and I have realized that it matters very little. Checking out the fall colors while Jack and I walk through our neighborhood is an adventure in itself. Truly, all thing are new, every single day. This is the case whether or not you are an infant. With Jack by my side, I am learning to be less distracted by things in the periphery. We enjoy each sweet experience for the beauty it contains. God filled the whole world with wonder. Leaving the neighborhood is not a prerequisite to finding it.

3.) Doing something truly beautiful is rarely a neat and tidy affair:
 By welcoming an infant into our family, my husband and I certainly chose to live a more chaotic life. Our days do not go as planned, our house does not always have sparkling floors, and there are weeks when I have opted never to get out of my pajamas before 3PM. What I have realized is that it is acceptable for everything else to take a back seat to growing with the people I love. Sure, maybe there is dog hair on my floor. When Jack grows up, though, I know that he will be certain that his mother loves him with every ounce of her being. I can not think of a more beautiful labor, or better use of my time. I will certainly always choose the messy joyride of loving my family over structure and clean floors.  Also, I love the excuse to stay in my pajamas.

Happy Fall!

-meg